03 April 2011

How to Brew Coffee (with Apologies to Anyone Seeking Instructions)

[Please note that I wrote this several days ago about an event that happened over a week ago. With this I hope to resume my regular twice a week updates. Enjoy]

I was housesitting. It was my first morning. Before I take the dog outside to use the bathroom, I know what I need to do: make coffee. 

Seeing as this is what I do professionally at this point in my life, brewing coffee is a fairly easy task for me. Further, this brewer has a built-in grinder. I just ad the beans and water in correct proportions and turn on the machine. Now it's the waiting game*. 

Shortly I realize that I forgot to change the filter. I'm more used to brewing in a French press, so this is an unnecessary step as far as I'm concerned. I soon enough remember my friend mentioning that she had changed the filter before she left. Though strange, I'm glad she did. Suddenly, I notice a new problem: coffee is not dripping into the carafe, and is indeed coming out the top of the filter cone onto the counter. 

I examine the carafe, discovering that it is missing it's lid. This lid is far from trivial, as it presses up on a button on the bottom of the cone, allowing the coffee to drip through. All I have is a cone full of hot water and grounds overflowing onto the counter. 

I pull the cone forward, as I would have to insert the filter. The plan is to pick up the filter, and along with it the grounds and a bit of water, and drop it into my mug that is waiting below. This will at least stop the immediate overflow problem. I pick up the filter by the edges, but suddenly the bottom tears, dropping the grounds into the water and splashing a murky brown coffee-like water all over the counter. 

Plan B: use a spoon to press the bottom of the cone and drain the water (and now also grounds) into my mug. Success. I clean up the grounds and the puddles on the counter, ready to give it another go. 

This time I insert a filter and find the top of the carafe before I begin. The coffee brews, and I drink it in my normal way: no cream, no sugar, and just a splash of adventure. 


*As Homer Simpson says in Mr. Plow (one of my absolute favorite episodes), "The waiting game sucks - let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos." 

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