I can never remember being told explicitly about Santa Claus as myth or reality. I always had questions about things like how he is everywhere at the exact same time (midnight) and why when they would show his location on the weather radar he was obviously planning his entire trip around central PA. This being said, I still believed, seeing as he was culturally everywhere: TV, malls, the local community center...and my living room.
Every year Santa would visit me on Christmas Eve. I would sit on his lap, and he would give me one gift a day early - not from a giant, mythical black bag, but from a standard plastic grocery bag. Minutes after he left my Uncle Bud would show up, consistently JUST missing him, a la Clark Kent and Superman.
When I was 13-years-old* we moved to a house a few miles away from where we had previously been living. Uncle Bud always lived nest door, but now he was about five miles away. Every year on Christmas Eve my two oldest (though still younger than me) sisters, my brother, and I would less-than-patiently wait for his car to pull up, then scamper away from the front door. Two minutes later Santa would knock at the door. Santa was obviously not a frequent visitor, or else he would know that no one uses that door. My sister, nine years younger than me, would answer the door. She would get excited, and I would sit on his lap to get my early gift. Uncle Bud would come through the back door, as everyone did, still just missing Santa Claus. Why did he sit in his car in the driveway for so long before coming inside, we would always joke.
On paper his name was Stanley, but I never once heard anyone call him that. He was certainly no Stanley. To absolutely everyone he was Bud. And Bud lived up to his name: he was one of the most compassionate and giving men I've ever met. If you needed help, Bud was there. I have never heard anyone say anything bad about him - good thing, because if you did someone would be ready to fight you.
I wore his Santa costume once, I believe in fourth grade. I was playing Santa Claus in a school play. After a few years, my mom told me it was his costume. She then told me never to tell my grandma - though she knew, she could never know that I knew. I can't help wondering these days why he owned a Santa costume.
On the morning of 31 August, 2000, Bud slept in. My grandma, his mom, with whom he was living, went in to wake him for breakfast. There she found him cold, dead. During the night he had a fatal heart attack at the age of 43.
I miss him often, but especially this time of year. Every time I see Santa Claus I feel like Buddy the Elf: that's not the real Santa Claus! Santa does have a giant beard, but 364 days a year he's wearing blue jeans and a brown flannel** that smells of hand-rolled cigarettes, dancing around the living room, holding his dog's front paws and singing La Cucuracha. And we all miss him every day.
*More correctly, I was only 12-years-old when we moved, but I had had my thirteenth birthday by Christmas.
**I realize this description of his appearance is reminiscent of my own. Every time I go back to Pennsylvania I hear how much I look like him from people I can't even recall ever meeting. Usually they know I'm his nephew. The last time I was there I had a fear my grandfather (rather senile at times) would call me Bud. I had a constant debate whether or not to correct him if he did. Fortunately he didn't.
Your Uncle Bud sounds like my Uncle Butch.
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite of all your writings. I too believe in Santa. He was the best Brother anyone could ever have. I do think of him every day. I miss him terribly. Thank you for writing this. Although it made me cry they were bittersweet tears.
ReplyDeleteLee, I also have an Uncle Butch. He is different than Bud was, but in the same category. He is actually not my uncle, but my mom's uncle.
ReplyDeleteMom, I think I cried a little bit writing it.
By the way mom, why did he own a Santa costume?
ReplyDeleteMom and I bought it because he told us he loved the look you had on your face when he would tell you stories of Santa when you were very small. You would always ask if Santa would come to your house and visit. He wanted to make sure you got your visit. Do you remember him putting the suit on and looking in your window and tapping on it at night. He always carried sleigh bells to and would ring them so you thought it was the reindeer.
ReplyDeleteI remember the bells. I don't remember him tapping on the window. That's a pretty awesome story though.
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