The Bow Tie Pt 1: No Respect

I enjoy wearing ties. As such, I do so nearly every day, generally at least five days per week. When working I feel naked without one, and my friend Ben recently gave me a hard time for not wearing one. My collection is about fifteen, some of which I like far more than others. I also know about ten different knots, most of which look very similar. I've never owned a bow tie. Never, that is, until Saturday evening.

Saturday was a rather crazy day: I worked from 7:30am until 8pm*, with approximately 8:30am to 6pm being very busy, and the remainder of the time being by no means slow. At the end of the day, I decided to reward myself.

Shopping at Nordstrom Rack is always a bit overwhelming to me: so many things I want that I know are being sold at a discount, yet I still can't really afford them. I walk past cologne, scarves, socks, sweaters - I can't allow myself to be distracted - watches, hats, shirts. I'm a man on a mission.

Ties, ties, ties. Shelves and arms and tables hold hundreds if not thousands of ties at drastically varied price points. Some were over $100, but I felt they should have paid someone to wear something so wretched. Finally I see what I've been looking for, hanging disregarded on four or five arms near the floor: bow ties. Like the great Rodney Dangerfield, bow ties get no respect at all.

I don't own a yellow tie. Bow tie, yellow tie: I'll kill two birds with one stone (though that white bow tie is mighty tempting). I find a lovely yellow tie with blue and white stripes. Vaguely nautical for my taste, but quite nice. Wait, navy stripes? Can I wear that with my black work shirts?

An employee walks past thrice before I finally ask her. She is appalled. This tie has navy stripes. How could I even consider wearing it with a black shirt? She points to another yellow tie, which I somehow missed. Yellow, with charcoal and gold crossing stripes? Heavenly. $15? Yes please!

Checking out, I come home. I look at the tying instructions that came with the tie...what? My How to Tie a Tie app doesn't tell me how to tie a bow tie - that is only available in the full version of the app**. YouTube is my best friend. Ironically enough, the best how to tie a bow tie video on YouTube is by a woman, not a gentleman. After watching seemingly myriadical videos, I almost have it. Time to bust out the book: How to Be a Gentleman. As a supplement to the videos, this book provides the perfect instructions.

The tie has been tied. It took thirty minutes, but I did it. Re-tying the next morning only took twenty. I'm getting better. Fortunately, it made it through the day quite well. No need to re-tie. I wore a bow tie, and it was wonderful.

There are three types of men who wear bow ties: men in tuxedos, nerds, and...fine, there are two types of men. So I'm a nerd. And my bow tie is my badge of pride.

*To be fair, I worked at two different stores, so I did have an hour off in between.
**Frankly, I'm rather shocked I haven't yet paid for the full version of this app.

I enjoy wearing ties. As such, I do so nearly every day, generally at least five days per week. When working I feel naked without one, and my friend Ben recently gave me a hard time for not wearing one. My collection is about fifteen, some of which I like far more than others. I also know about ten different knots, most of which look very similar. I've never owned a bow tie. Never, that is, until Saturday evening.

Saturday was a rather crazy day: I worked from 7:30am until 8pm*, with approximately 8:30am to 6pm being very busy, and the remainder of the time being by no means slow. At the end of the day, I decided to reward myself.

Shopping at Nordstrom Rack is always a bit overwhelming to me: so many things I want that I know are being sold at a discount, yet I still can't really afford them. I walk past cologne, scarves, socks, sweaters - I can't allow myself to be distracted - watches, hats, shirts. I'm a man on a mission.

Ties, ties, ties. Shelves and arms and tables hold hundreds if not thousands of ties at drastically varied price points. Some were over $100, but I felt they should have paid someone to wear something so wretched. Finally I see what I've been looking for, hanging disregarded on four or five arms near the floor: bow ties. Like the great Rodney Dangerfield, bow ties get no respect at all.

I don't own a yellow tie. Bow tie, yellow tie: I'll kill two birds with one stone (though that white bow tie is mighty tempting). I find a lovely yellow tie with blue and white stripes. Vaguely nautical for my taste, but quite nice. Wait, navy stripes? Can I wear that with my black work shirts?

An employee walks past thrice before I finally ask her. She is appalled. This tie has navy stripes. How could I even consider wearing it with a black shirt? She points to another yellow tie, which I somehow missed. Yellow, with charcoal and gold crossing stripes? Heavenly. $15? Yes please!

Checking out, I come home. I look at the tying instructions that came with the tie...what? My How to Tie a Tie app doesn't tell me how to tie a bow tie - that is only available in the full version of the app**. YouTube is my best friend. Ironically enough, the best how to tie a bow tie video on YouTube is by a woman, not a gentleman. After watching seemingly myriadical videos, I almost have it. Time to bust out the book: How to Be a Gentleman. As a supplement to the videos, this book provides the perfect instructions.

The tie has been tied. It took thirty minutes, but I did it. Re-tying the next morning only took twenty. I'm getting better. Fortunately, it made it through the day quite well. No need to re-tie. I wore a bow tie, and it was wonderful.

There are three types of men who wear bow ties: men in tuxedos, nerds, and...fine, there are two types of men. So I'm a nerd. And my bow tie is my badge of pride.

*To be fair, I worked at two different stores, so I did have an hour off in between.
**Frankly, I'm rather shocked I haven't yet paid for the full version of this app.

The Bow Tie Pt 1: No Respect