The Bow Tie Pt 3: Tying the Knot

On an early morning it takes forever to tie a bow tie. While this is hyperbole, it does take me fully twenty minutes, as opposed to the negligible time spent tying a long tie. In the end, it's worth it - the finished product, after all, is a highly respectable piece of work that few people know how to do. As I was unfortunately soon to learn, that few was one fewer than I thought.

The knot is very stable. On each of my breaks I would straighten and sometimes tighten the knot, but retying was fortunately entirely unessential. After work I head to church. I serve in the children's ministry at the 5pm service, after which I attend the 7:15pm service.

Between services I see my friend Lacey. Lacey always appreciates my ties, especially as a former employee of several men's clothing stores, including Brooks Brothers. Fourteen hours into my day, the knot is still going strong. I look to Lacey's reaction with great anticipation.

"That's a very nice tie."

"Thank you."

"...you seem to be missing the bow though."

It was certainly tied in a knot. It seems this was even a semi-acceptable way to tie it. Unfortunately, it was still not correct. I took off my tie and allowed her to tie it for me. It looked and felt better, not to mention that it was a size that actually fit me. Furthermore, the shape of the untied tie itself actually made sense. Brilliant, simply brilliant.

Sitting in the foyer after church, she taught me the proper way to tie a bow tie by tying it on my leg. I then untied my leg bow and retied it. After this, I mustered my confidence and successfully tied it on my neck. Using a mirror to straighten, I was indeed wearing a bow tie, which I myself tied properly.

Like every week, I went out with group of people after church. This particular week's post-service gathering (PSG* for short) was at Romeo's Pizza. The pesto bread is delicious, and a great deal during happy hour for a mere $5. As I sat there, people repeatedly asked me to take off my bow tie and retie it. I was free entertainment. In retrospect, I should have put out a tip jar.

Repeated tyings were good practice. At one point I quipped that now that I can tie a bow tie I'm ready to get married - tux time. Time to tie the knot, if you will. True or not, it's a skill I'm glad to have in my repertoire. A gentleman can never know too many different ways to tie a tie, and I'm glad to officially be among the aforementioned bow tying few.

Writing about wearing a bow tie is almost as much fun as wearing a bow tie. Maybe someday I'll have enough bow tied adventures to fill a book, or at least a bow tie shaped coffee table book. For now though, this is the end of the bow tie blogging era. With these three nicely packaged posts, I will wrap things up and, as they say, put a bow** on it.

*For those who saw my tweet about PSG tonight and wondered, now you know.
**No, I don't mean a bird. Sorry Portland.

On an early morning it takes forever to tie a bow tie. While this is hyperbole, it does take me fully twenty minutes, as opposed to the negligible time spent tying a long tie. In the end, it's worth it - the finished product, after all, is a highly respectable piece of work that few people know how to do. As I was unfortunately soon to learn, that few was one fewer than I thought.

The knot is very stable. On each of my breaks I would straighten and sometimes tighten the knot, but retying was fortunately entirely unessential. After work I head to church. I serve in the children's ministry at the 5pm service, after which I attend the 7:15pm service.

Between services I see my friend Lacey. Lacey always appreciates my ties, especially as a former employee of several men's clothing stores, including Brooks Brothers. Fourteen hours into my day, the knot is still going strong. I look to Lacey's reaction with great anticipation.

"That's a very nice tie."

"Thank you."

"...you seem to be missing the bow though."

It was certainly tied in a knot. It seems this was even a semi-acceptable way to tie it. Unfortunately, it was still not correct. I took off my tie and allowed her to tie it for me. It looked and felt better, not to mention that it was a size that actually fit me. Furthermore, the shape of the untied tie itself actually made sense. Brilliant, simply brilliant.

Sitting in the foyer after church, she taught me the proper way to tie a bow tie by tying it on my leg. I then untied my leg bow and retied it. After this, I mustered my confidence and successfully tied it on my neck. Using a mirror to straighten, I was indeed wearing a bow tie, which I myself tied properly.

Like every week, I went out with group of people after church. This particular week's post-service gathering (PSG* for short) was at Romeo's Pizza. The pesto bread is delicious, and a great deal during happy hour for a mere $5. As I sat there, people repeatedly asked me to take off my bow tie and retie it. I was free entertainment. In retrospect, I should have put out a tip jar.

Repeated tyings were good practice. At one point I quipped that now that I can tie a bow tie I'm ready to get married - tux time. Time to tie the knot, if you will. True or not, it's a skill I'm glad to have in my repertoire. A gentleman can never know too many different ways to tie a tie, and I'm glad to officially be among the aforementioned bow tying few.

Writing about wearing a bow tie is almost as much fun as wearing a bow tie. Maybe someday I'll have enough bow tied adventures to fill a book, or at least a bow tie shaped coffee table book. For now though, this is the end of the bow tie blogging era. With these three nicely packaged posts, I will wrap things up and, as they say, put a bow** on it.

*For those who saw my tweet about PSG tonight and wondered, now you know.
**No, I don't mean a bird. Sorry Portland.

The Bow Tie Pt 3: Tying the Knot

The Bow Tie Pt 2: I Gotta Learn How to Tie a Bow

"This kinda thing happens every show. I gotta learn how to tie a bow." I said it over and over again as I was learning to tie the bow tie. It was a reference to the video below. Love this video.

"This kinda thing happens every show. I gotta learn how to tie a bow." I said it over and over again as I was learning to tie the bow tie. It was a reference to the video below. Love this video.

The Bow Tie Pt 2: I Gotta Learn How to Tie a Bow

The Bow Tie Pt 1: No Respect

I enjoy wearing ties. As such, I do so nearly every day, generally at least five days per week. When working I feel naked without one, and my friend Ben recently gave me a hard time for not wearing one. My collection is about fifteen, some of which I like far more than others. I also know about ten different knots, most of which look very similar. I've never owned a bow tie. Never, that is, until Saturday evening.

Saturday was a rather crazy day: I worked from 7:30am until 8pm*, with approximately 8:30am to 6pm being very busy, and the remainder of the time being by no means slow. At the end of the day, I decided to reward myself.

Shopping at Nordstrom Rack is always a bit overwhelming to me: so many things I want that I know are being sold at a discount, yet I still can't really afford them. I walk past cologne, scarves, socks, sweaters - I can't allow myself to be distracted - watches, hats, shirts. I'm a man on a mission.

Ties, ties, ties. Shelves and arms and tables hold hundreds if not thousands of ties at drastically varied price points. Some were over $100, but I felt they should have paid someone to wear something so wretched. Finally I see what I've been looking for, hanging disregarded on four or five arms near the floor: bow ties. Like the great Rodney Dangerfield, bow ties get no respect at all.

I don't own a yellow tie. Bow tie, yellow tie: I'll kill two birds with one stone (though that white bow tie is mighty tempting). I find a lovely yellow tie with blue and white stripes. Vaguely nautical for my taste, but quite nice. Wait, navy stripes? Can I wear that with my black work shirts?

An employee walks past thrice before I finally ask her. She is appalled. This tie has navy stripes. How could I even consider wearing it with a black shirt? She points to another yellow tie, which I somehow missed. Yellow, with charcoal and gold crossing stripes? Heavenly. $15? Yes please!

Checking out, I come home. I look at the tying instructions that came with the tie...what? My How to Tie a Tie app doesn't tell me how to tie a bow tie - that is only available in the full version of the app**. YouTube is my best friend. Ironically enough, the best how to tie a bow tie video on YouTube is by a woman, not a gentleman. After watching seemingly myriadical videos, I almost have it. Time to bust out the book: How to Be a Gentleman. As a supplement to the videos, this book provides the perfect instructions.

The tie has been tied. It took thirty minutes, but I did it. Re-tying the next morning only took twenty. I'm getting better. Fortunately, it made it through the day quite well. No need to re-tie. I wore a bow tie, and it was wonderful.

There are three types of men who wear bow ties: men in tuxedos, nerds, and...fine, there are two types of men. So I'm a nerd. And my bow tie is my badge of pride.

*To be fair, I worked at two different stores, so I did have an hour off in between.
**Frankly, I'm rather shocked I haven't yet paid for the full version of this app.

I enjoy wearing ties. As such, I do so nearly every day, generally at least five days per week. When working I feel naked without one, and my friend Ben recently gave me a hard time for not wearing one. My collection is about fifteen, some of which I like far more than others. I also know about ten different knots, most of which look very similar. I've never owned a bow tie. Never, that is, until Saturday evening.

Saturday was a rather crazy day: I worked from 7:30am until 8pm*, with approximately 8:30am to 6pm being very busy, and the remainder of the time being by no means slow. At the end of the day, I decided to reward myself.

Shopping at Nordstrom Rack is always a bit overwhelming to me: so many things I want that I know are being sold at a discount, yet I still can't really afford them. I walk past cologne, scarves, socks, sweaters - I can't allow myself to be distracted - watches, hats, shirts. I'm a man on a mission.

Ties, ties, ties. Shelves and arms and tables hold hundreds if not thousands of ties at drastically varied price points. Some were over $100, but I felt they should have paid someone to wear something so wretched. Finally I see what I've been looking for, hanging disregarded on four or five arms near the floor: bow ties. Like the great Rodney Dangerfield, bow ties get no respect at all.

I don't own a yellow tie. Bow tie, yellow tie: I'll kill two birds with one stone (though that white bow tie is mighty tempting). I find a lovely yellow tie with blue and white stripes. Vaguely nautical for my taste, but quite nice. Wait, navy stripes? Can I wear that with my black work shirts?

An employee walks past thrice before I finally ask her. She is appalled. This tie has navy stripes. How could I even consider wearing it with a black shirt? She points to another yellow tie, which I somehow missed. Yellow, with charcoal and gold crossing stripes? Heavenly. $15? Yes please!

Checking out, I come home. I look at the tying instructions that came with the tie...what? My How to Tie a Tie app doesn't tell me how to tie a bow tie - that is only available in the full version of the app**. YouTube is my best friend. Ironically enough, the best how to tie a bow tie video on YouTube is by a woman, not a gentleman. After watching seemingly myriadical videos, I almost have it. Time to bust out the book: How to Be a Gentleman. As a supplement to the videos, this book provides the perfect instructions.

The tie has been tied. It took thirty minutes, but I did it. Re-tying the next morning only took twenty. I'm getting better. Fortunately, it made it through the day quite well. No need to re-tie. I wore a bow tie, and it was wonderful.

There are three types of men who wear bow ties: men in tuxedos, nerds, and...fine, there are two types of men. So I'm a nerd. And my bow tie is my badge of pride.

*To be fair, I worked at two different stores, so I did have an hour off in between.
**Frankly, I'm rather shocked I haven't yet paid for the full version of this app.

The Bow Tie Pt 1: No Respect

She Lives in a Shoe

In customer service, you interact with a lot of people, obviously. We all have one group of people who seems to react most favorably toward is. For me, I think that group is women who are at least 25 years older than me.

That puts them at 55+, older than my mom*. Sometimes they are in the 55-60 category. Other times they are more in the 75-85 category, old enough to be my grandmother. Sometimes, even older. Recently I've had two non-work experiences with women in or nearing this group which I found to be particularly interesting.

A few days ago while waiting on the light rail I noticed a group of three or four quite trendy ladies in their early to mid-50s and a gentleman about the same age. They were talking and being rambunctious, with him contributing nothing. "I still think you should make out on the second date," I heard one of them say. She was clearly the leader of the pack.

We got on the train, and they sat in the seats directly behind mine. One of the other ladies complained about a recent date. She felt it went well, but he never called her after. Ringleader, a mutual friend consoled her that he did like her. No one seemed to understand quite why he didn't call.

The complaining woman dejectedly lamented her inability to find a man who is mature. Indeed, this does seem to be a common problem, so I thought nothing of it until Ringleader once again contributed: "you will have to get used to the maturity difference. After all, you're 53. 28-year-old guys are all like that!" Yes, the guy who was not mature enough to date a 53-year-old woman was younger than me.

Second story. This one occurred today. I was at the library, as I often am. As I was walking in, I noticed that right behind me there was a woman old enough to be my grandmother. I held the door for her. Shocked, she smiled and thanked me as she entered. We both crossed the library foyer and came to the second set of doors. She opens the door. Instead of walking in she holds the door for me. She gestures for me to go through, saying with a smile, "Women's lib." Wow.

I have some strange interactions with people, but these women stood out. I'm not sure why, but they did. Do you know why?

*I should note here that my mom, a faithful reader is only 37, though it seems she has been 37 for a number of years. I will not tell you what that number is.

In customer service, you interact with a lot of people, obviously. We all have one group of people who seems to react most favorably toward is. For me, I think that group is women who are at least 25 years older than me.

That puts them at 55+, older than my mom*. Sometimes they are in the 55-60 category. Other times they are more in the 75-85 category, old enough to be my grandmother. Sometimes, even older. Recently I've had two non-work experiences with women in or nearing this group which I found to be particularly interesting.

A few days ago while waiting on the light rail I noticed a group of three or four quite trendy ladies in their early to mid-50s and a gentleman about the same age. They were talking and being rambunctious, with him contributing nothing. "I still think you should make out on the second date," I heard one of them say. She was clearly the leader of the pack.

We got on the train, and they sat in the seats directly behind mine. One of the other ladies complained about a recent date. She felt it went well, but he never called her after. Ringleader, a mutual friend consoled her that he did like her. No one seemed to understand quite why he didn't call.

The complaining woman dejectedly lamented her inability to find a man who is mature. Indeed, this does seem to be a common problem, so I thought nothing of it until Ringleader once again contributed: "you will have to get used to the maturity difference. After all, you're 53. 28-year-old guys are all like that!" Yes, the guy who was not mature enough to date a 53-year-old woman was younger than me.

Second story. This one occurred today. I was at the library, as I often am. As I was walking in, I noticed that right behind me there was a woman old enough to be my grandmother. I held the door for her. Shocked, she smiled and thanked me as she entered. We both crossed the library foyer and came to the second set of doors. She opens the door. Instead of walking in she holds the door for me. She gestures for me to go through, saying with a smile, "Women's lib." Wow.

I have some strange interactions with people, but these women stood out. I'm not sure why, but they did. Do you know why?

*I should note here that my mom, a faithful reader is only 37, though it seems she has been 37 for a number of years. I will not tell you what that number is.

She Lives in a Shoe

I'm Back

It's true: the sabbatical is over, and I'm back to the blog. It's been a crazy two or so weeks, and I really want to spend my first post talking about that.

Work. Oh man. I've been doing this a lot. At one point I worked 12 days in a row. In this, I worked 13 shifts doing 2 jobs at 5 locations. Yikes. But when you have a job that is driven by tourism (i.e. any job in downtown Seattle), this is the hardest time of year. You take the hours when you can get them.

I ran the Gladiator Rock and Run. 43 minutes, 54 seconds. I think this is a pretty good time, especially considering that my goal was simply to be under 1 hour. 5k+16 obstacles to raise money to fight autism. Next month I might do a standard 5k to fight arthritis.

The weather got into the 30s last night. Way too cold for early November. I still have a lot of lima beans not ready to be picked, so I'm hoping the first frost is not too soon.

Someone pointed out to me that I don't have a life plan. I've been working on putting that together. I have more of it than I thought I did, and I've filled in some of the missing pieces, but there is still a lot to do on that. Also, I have several goals that I have no idea where to begin on. But knowing where you are going comes before figuring out how to get there.

Life is busy and seems to be getting moreso every day. It's complicated, especially now that I'm no longer a 20-something. But it's good to be back to Qoheleth. I've missed you.

It's true: the sabbatical is over, and I'm back to the blog. It's been a crazy two or so weeks, and I really want to spend my first post talking about that.

Work. Oh man. I've been doing this a lot. At one point I worked 12 days in a row. In this, I worked 13 shifts doing 2 jobs at 5 locations. Yikes. But when you have a job that is driven by tourism (i.e. any job in downtown Seattle), this is the hardest time of year. You take the hours when you can get them.

I ran the Gladiator Rock and Run. 43 minutes, 54 seconds. I think this is a pretty good time, especially considering that my goal was simply to be under 1 hour. 5k+16 obstacles to raise money to fight autism. Next month I might do a standard 5k to fight arthritis.

The weather got into the 30s last night. Way too cold for early November. I still have a lot of lima beans not ready to be picked, so I'm hoping the first frost is not too soon.

Someone pointed out to me that I don't have a life plan. I've been working on putting that together. I have more of it than I thought I did, and I've filled in some of the missing pieces, but there is still a lot to do on that. Also, I have several goals that I have no idea where to begin on. But knowing where you are going comes before figuring out how to get there.

Life is busy and seems to be getting moreso every day. It's complicated, especially now that I'm no longer a 20-something. But it's good to be back to Qoheleth. I've missed you.

I'm Back