They Call Me Mr. Tea

I like tea. This, as you may know, is a huge understatement. I drink it frequently, whether black, green, oolong, or herbal*. While most people know me as a coffee addict, I drink nearly twice as much tea as I do coffee.

Recently, in an unfortunate turn of events, I got a stomach ulcer**. This is my second ulcer, and it will probably not be my last, seeing as they are caused by a virus. Even a sip of coffee resulted in stabbing pain just beneath my ribs and slightly off center to the right – the exact location of my ulcer. Tea it is.

English breakfast tea is a life saver, or at least a headache preventer and zombie cure. It's a delicious source of caffeine, albeit in a lower quantity than coffee. However, herbal teas have a lot of health benefits, and particularly many that are good when you have an ulcer. As such, I bought an herbal tea sampler.

The teas varied in quality, but one was head and shoulders above the others. Oh the cinnamon and apple goodness, chock full of chamomile and hibiscus…you are the most perfect tea an evening could ask for. Yes, you are the reason this box of tea exists.

I immediately head back to Red Apple to pick up a box of this tea. Much to my chagrin, it is not there. Come on Red Apple – all you are good for is items I need last minute, expired food, and this, and now you fail at one of the three. Disappointing.

A few days later I’m at Safeway buying bagels***. I wander aimlessly around the store looking for sales and deals, as I generally do when I’m in no hurry. I notice that Celestial Seasonings is on sale, 2/$5. What was that one I liked so much? I’ll know it when I see it. Something with chamomile…honey vanilla chamomile? That sounds right. I buy two boxes. After all, it’s on sale. I head home, excited to enjoy another cup of this tea. I impatiently heat the water and brew. It’s delicious, but disappointingly not the right one.

Days later I find myself once again at Safeway, having just discovered the Just4U deals on their app. Once again I find myself in the tea aisle with the sale still going on. I notice a box – Apple Cinnamon Spice. I check the ingredients, finding exactly what I expected to find. It’s on.

Back home, I tap my fingers on the counter as water heats. After what seems like an eternity, I sip the tea, allowing the warm and naturally sweet tea to glide lazily across my palate. Enraptured, I still realize it doesn’t taste quite like what I had before. Wait, I still have half of that sampler! I can look at the box and see exactly what it was. STASH TEA? It wasn’t even Celestial Seasonings? I bought the correct tea, but in a completely different brand! Everything makes sense. Different or not, it’s every bit as wonderful, being quite possibly the most perfect chamomile tea I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting.

At the beginning of the week I had one box of chamomile-based tea. I now have four. Honey vanilla chamomile was a delicious mistake to make, not to mention begin helpful to my insomnia. At this rate, they will call me Mr. Tea. And let me tell you, I pity the fool who doesn’t enjoy this hot and delicious infusion.


*I realize herbal teas are not actually tea at all. I rightly include rooibos and yerba mate in the herbal category. I've never gotten very into white tea.
**I had recorded a video about this. However, the video sucked so I didn't upload it. Even with editing, there was not enough quality material to make an entertaining video.
***Until recently bagels were generally all I bought at Safeway. However, their app has offered me some good deals recently, so I've been shopping there a bit more. It is probably the best balance of price and quality in a convenient location at this point in my life.

I like tea. This, as you may know, is a huge understatement. I drink it frequently, whether black, green, oolong, or herbal*. While most people know me as a coffee addict, I drink nearly twice as much tea as I do coffee.

Recently, in an unfortunate turn of events, I got a stomach ulcer**. This is my second ulcer, and it will probably not be my last, seeing as they are caused by a virus. Even a sip of coffee resulted in stabbing pain just beneath my ribs and slightly off center to the right – the exact location of my ulcer. Tea it is.

English breakfast tea is a life saver, or at least a headache preventer and zombie cure. It's a delicious source of caffeine, albeit in a lower quantity than coffee. However, herbal teas have a lot of health benefits, and particularly many that are good when you have an ulcer. As such, I bought an herbal tea sampler.

The teas varied in quality, but one was head and shoulders above the others. Oh the cinnamon and apple goodness, chock full of chamomile and hibiscus…you are the most perfect tea an evening could ask for. Yes, you are the reason this box of tea exists.

I immediately head back to Red Apple to pick up a box of this tea. Much to my chagrin, it is not there. Come on Red Apple – all you are good for is items I need last minute, expired food, and this, and now you fail at one of the three. Disappointing.

A few days later I’m at Safeway buying bagels***. I wander aimlessly around the store looking for sales and deals, as I generally do when I’m in no hurry. I notice that Celestial Seasonings is on sale, 2/$5. What was that one I liked so much? I’ll know it when I see it. Something with chamomile…honey vanilla chamomile? That sounds right. I buy two boxes. After all, it’s on sale. I head home, excited to enjoy another cup of this tea. I impatiently heat the water and brew. It’s delicious, but disappointingly not the right one.

Days later I find myself once again at Safeway, having just discovered the Just4U deals on their app. Once again I find myself in the tea aisle with the sale still going on. I notice a box – Apple Cinnamon Spice. I check the ingredients, finding exactly what I expected to find. It’s on.

Back home, I tap my fingers on the counter as water heats. After what seems like an eternity, I sip the tea, allowing the warm and naturally sweet tea to glide lazily across my palate. Enraptured, I still realize it doesn’t taste quite like what I had before. Wait, I still have half of that sampler! I can look at the box and see exactly what it was. STASH TEA? It wasn’t even Celestial Seasonings? I bought the correct tea, but in a completely different brand! Everything makes sense. Different or not, it’s every bit as wonderful, being quite possibly the most perfect chamomile tea I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting.

At the beginning of the week I had one box of chamomile-based tea. I now have four. Honey vanilla chamomile was a delicious mistake to make, not to mention begin helpful to my insomnia. At this rate, they will call me Mr. Tea. And let me tell you, I pity the fool who doesn’t enjoy this hot and delicious infusion.


*I realize herbal teas are not actually tea at all. I rightly include rooibos and yerba mate in the herbal category. I've never gotten very into white tea.
**I had recorded a video about this. However, the video sucked so I didn't upload it. Even with editing, there was not enough quality material to make an entertaining video.
***Until recently bagels were generally all I bought at Safeway. However, their app has offered me some good deals recently, so I've been shopping there a bit more. It is probably the best balance of price and quality in a convenient location at this point in my life.

They Call Me Mr. Tea