The following is inspired by a string of comments on a picture on facebook a few days ago. I opened a document and typed the following before going to bed:
Describe the contraption Wile E. Coyote would use to brush his teeth.
What appears below is what I eventually wrote. It was a very interesting writing exercise, as it forced me to do my best to put into words a series of visual jokes, as well as to picture something as someone else would create it. Enjoy.
A large truck drives onto the scene. We can’t be quite sure what is inside the truck, but painted on the side are four letters: ACME. The truck squeals at it stops quite suddenly. The desert dust flies in a cloud. The back door opens, and a box falls out. As soon as the box hits the ground, the truck drives away. The same four letters are oversprayed on the side of the box: ACME.
Suddenly we see Wile E. Coyote (Gingivitis preventius) run over to the box, excited for its contents. Most likely this is another crazy scheme to catch the Road Runner (Dentus nilius). As Wile E. Coyote pries the top off the box, a large toothbrush pops out, attached to a spring. Apparently oral hygiene is as important for predators in the animal kingdom as it is for humans. After all, you wouldn’t want to walk around all day with small land animals stuck between your teeth. Out of the box our carnivorous friend pulls a remote control.
Wile E. puts the oversized toothbrush in his mouth and pushes the large red button on the remote, which is also the only button. The toothbrush moves quite vigourously, up and down, as well as in tiny circles, cleaning Wile E.’s teeth in the manner recommended by most dentists. Healthy teeth are important, and 4 out of 5 siwwy wabbits recommend a device similar to this one.
On the horizon, we can see another sizable cloud of dust. As of yet, we cannot tell what said cloud is, but it’s rapidly approaching us, so we’re about to find out. The distinctive “Beep, beep!” of Road Runner resounds throughout the mountainous desert.
As he runs past us, the box from which the toothbrush is extruding is thrust into the air by the force of Road Runner’s zooming past. As it is directly above Wile E.’s head, the box seems to lose it’s momentum and fall straight down. The toothbrush as well as the spring are forced down Wile E.’s throat. He is smashed as flat as a pancake when the box continues down on him, but he soon bounces back into shape, up and down like an accordion as the spring expands and contracts. Dazed by this interaction, Wile E. tries to walk it off, still doing his accordion-esque Danse Macabre. Unfortunately, our friend is in such pain that he fails to notice as he walks off the edge of the cliff on which he was brushing his teeth. Only moments after he falls, the sound of rock cracking can be heard, as the cliff for no apparent reason breaks and falls on top of our coyote friend.
This may seem like an extraordinary event, but this is the everyday life of a coyote who uses ACME products to try to catch a bird. All he wants is a meal. Is that really so much to ask?
The following is inspired by a string of comments on a picture on facebook a few days ago. I opened a document and typed the following before going to bed:
Describe the contraption Wile E. Coyote would use to brush his teeth.
What appears below is what I eventually wrote. It was a very interesting writing exercise, as it forced me to do my best to put into words a series of visual jokes, as well as to picture something as someone else would create it. Enjoy.
A large truck drives onto the scene. We can’t be quite sure what is inside the truck, but painted on the side are four letters: ACME. The truck squeals at it stops quite suddenly. The desert dust flies in a cloud. The back door opens, and a box falls out. As soon as the box hits the ground, the truck drives away. The same four letters are oversprayed on the side of the box: ACME.
Suddenly we see Wile E. Coyote (Gingivitis preventius) run over to the box, excited for its contents. Most likely this is another crazy scheme to catch the Road Runner (Dentus nilius). As Wile E. Coyote pries the top off the box, a large toothbrush pops out, attached to a spring. Apparently oral hygiene is as important for predators in the animal kingdom as it is for humans. After all, you wouldn’t want to walk around all day with small land animals stuck between your teeth. Out of the box our carnivorous friend pulls a remote control.
Wile E. puts the oversized toothbrush in his mouth and pushes the large red button on the remote, which is also the only button. The toothbrush moves quite vigourously, up and down, as well as in tiny circles, cleaning Wile E.’s teeth in the manner recommended by most dentists. Healthy teeth are important, and 4 out of 5 siwwy wabbits recommend a device similar to this one.
On the horizon, we can see another sizable cloud of dust. As of yet, we cannot tell what said cloud is, but it’s rapidly approaching us, so we’re about to find out. The distinctive “Beep, beep!” of Road Runner resounds throughout the mountainous desert.
As he runs past us, the box from which the toothbrush is extruding is thrust into the air by the force of Road Runner’s zooming past. As it is directly above Wile E.’s head, the box seems to lose it’s momentum and fall straight down. The toothbrush as well as the spring are forced down Wile E.’s throat. He is smashed as flat as a pancake when the box continues down on him, but he soon bounces back into shape, up and down like an accordion as the spring expands and contracts. Dazed by this interaction, Wile E. tries to walk it off, still doing his accordion-esque Danse Macabre. Unfortunately, our friend is in such pain that he fails to notice as he walks off the edge of the cliff on which he was brushing his teeth. Only moments after he falls, the sound of rock cracking can be heard, as the cliff for no apparent reason breaks and falls on top of our coyote friend.
This may seem like an extraordinary event, but this is the everyday life of a coyote who uses ACME products to try to catch a bird. All he wants is a meal. Is that really so much to ask?
Wile E. Coyote Brushes His Teeth
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