22 July 2012

Maybe I'm a Bad Nerd

I will probably turn down three invitations to see The Dark Knight Rises within the next two weeks*. I’m not planning to see it in a theater. When you get right down to it, I probably won’t see it at all. Maybe this makes me a bad nerd, but it’s the truth, plain and simple.
Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against Batman. I probably won’t see any movies in the theater this summer, or even this year. It simply lacks appeal to me. I mean, you can buy the DVD for the cost of one ticket, or you can download the movie for much less (not to mention possibilities to pir8). While you miss a lot of the audio/video spectacle, this is simply not important enough to me to merit the cost of the ticket.
This is a picture of a bird I drew on the page where I wrote this.

To be fair, even at home I don’t watch very many movies. They scarcely hold my attention, especially when I’m watching them alone. With a few exceptions, I have trouble even watching an entire thirty minute television show straight through. Books, on the other hand, can captivate me for hours. It’s something I cannot entirely explain, except to state braggadociously** that my imagination is apparently far better than most of the directing out there today.
Back to the subject of Batman, I’ve always been much more of a Marvel fan than DC. Even still, the movies are tough for me. I’ve seen only the first two X-Men, the first Spiderman, and the first Fantastic Four (which, if I had to choose, would probably be my personal favorite comic book series). I’ve not seen anything of The Incredible Hulk, The Avengers, or Iron Man. Outside the realm of comics, I’ve only seen the first Harry Potter and the second half of the second (even though I own the first six) and half of the first Lord of the Rings. I’ve never seen either Jurassic Park, despite my love for both dinosaurs and Michael Crichton. Inception? That’s a solid chunk of time wasted right there. And the list goes on and on.

People ask, “Have you seen –“

I cut them off. “Wayne’s World?”

“No…”
“Then no, I haven’t.” It’s an exaggeration, but it makes the point that I’ve seen very few movies. I’m familiar with the storyline as they’re all the same, but I’ve never seen it. I have better things to do than sit there allowing myself to be emotionally manipulated by Hollywood.

It’s probably been close to twenty years since I’ve seen a Batman movie. If you want me to watch Batman with you, bring on the best Batman: Adam West! Sure, it was campy, but I love it. Bam! Pow! Write in the Blogger!

*I am curious how my posting this will affect those numbers.

**I fully realize that braggadociously is not technically a word. It is, however, the recently coined adjective braggadocious turned into an adverb. Look out, grammar – we’re shaking things up.


21 July 2012

Rumors of My Demise

Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. As a matter of fact, tomorrow I update. It is written. Tomorrow I revise and post.